One of the precepts in Soto Zen study states “Do not indulge anger – cultivate equanimity.” Equanimity — “chill” or keep calm. Notice that the precept does not say don’t be angry, rather it states don’t indulge your anger. Of course all of us except full-blooded Vulcans are swimming in a sea of emotions, and the behaviors they may induce in us could have an immense influence on the dynamics and outcomes of not just our lives, but also for our families, communities as well as society at large. Some emotions can be extremely powerful and collectively may lead to war. Emotions can trigger murders and suicides, so it is well worth for all of us to dwell a bit on the topic of emotions. I also want to share and bring in a piece from the fascinating NPR-hosted pod cast, Invisibilia, which touches on a recent model or way of looking at emotions and provides some insights how trying to “control” or dismiss emotions can backfire.
Recently, I attended a class at the local Zen center and we were asked to list three things that made us angry. Being the analytical type I ended up trying to convert my top 3 into a generic format. Bear with me. This is what was finalized:
- Angry people make me angry.
- Anyone or anything that threatens my safety or the safety or sanctity of what I hold dear in the world (which includes people, animals, things and my “favored” mental constructs). For example, the actions of predators…
- What I can’t control. For example, getting sick, others I care for being sick or willingly harming themselves with intoxicants, people doing things I don’t want them to do or I perceive are wrong, rude, etc, people or situations that I am jealous of.
Summing it up:
-Anger
-Threatening Situations
– Lack of Control
Think about it a little bit. Go back to a situation where you confronted someone in anger. Didn’t your adversary’s anger escalate yours? So keeping cool helps de-escalate a potentially harmful situation.
During the exercise I began to realize that these generic “global” triggers (threats and lack of control) may also be manifested as fear, irritation, worry/anxiety, guilt, remorse, sadness, pity, jealously and hatred – to name a few. But from a place of equanimity they are capable of triggering empathy and yes, even Love.
From a Buddhist perspective anger clearly causes suffering, as do threatening situations and lack of control. Let’s face it, anger is suffering and suffering can make one angry. The suffering is not just yours, but everyone’s. (For more see Google search on what Buddhism really says about anger.)
It may also be helpful to think about emotions in context of time – past, present and future. This may be useful, as we at times may be flooded with totally virtual and hypothetical situations that we play out in our heads and which can cause, literally, a personal hell. Parsing it out and seeing it happen inside, from a detached perspective and in the present moment may be a good tool for relief. Past-based originating emotions include remorse, guilt, anger, hatred, and sadness. The point is, something happened in the past and we keep spinning the event in our heads rather than approaching from a clear and calm place. That is not to say that injustice may have happened, but the suffering continues after the moment of occurrence. A popular Buddhist saying is “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.” Future-based emotions include fear, worry and anxiety. It has not happened yet, but our sense of self, or maybe our sense of happy self is threatened by the possibility of a less than optimal outcome – the cards are stacked against us.
Apparently for 80 years or so younger Americans have been getting more anxious and depressed. For as long as there have been intoxicants, humans of course, have had a tendency to try and let go (of their negative junk) by that method. If taken too far this is simply avoidance, with likely long term negative consequences (addiction, poor health, etc). But having an occasional margarita can also be just plain fun! Too bad that alcohol is a depressant. Medication combined with therapy is a well accepted tool by the medical community and according to a recent study on depression treatment, statistically works — and is likely to be the fastest remedy for cases of acute suffering. Moving on to non-drug treatments, increasingly the eastern aspects of mindfulness are being applied in western psychology, such as mindfulness based cognitive therapy. The neural mechanisms that provide positive results, however, appear to be incompletely understood at this time. From my perspective, meditation, including mindfulness, can be useful to create a gap from what seems like incessant spinning of thinking and emotions. That gap is in the present and from a calm place “we” can detached from the past and the future, even if it is just for a few moments.
Mentioning the word, “detach”, another approach to deal with the negative consequence of emotions and emotion-induced situations may be to not allow those emotions to have “fertile ground.” By this I mean utilizing the concept of “surrender” (more of a Christian mystical concept of giving oneself to God) or the concept of detachment recognizing no permanent self or certainly nothing like the self we think we are (eastern philosophy, Buddhism for the no-self and Vedic/Hindu Philosophy for a more complex “cosmic” self). In all cases the wave recognizes it is part of the sea or part of God, thus allaying its fears that it is about to crash onto the beach, is bigger or smaller than the other wave, etc. While “self annihilation” or “surrender” may sound scary, especially for westerners, don’t worry, it’s pretty hard to do and not what we think it is (I suspect). Hanging out with good friends who want to help each other or with a spiritual community with open hearts is a nice start.
In the Invisibilia segment entitled emotions; part 1 is a chilling story of a truck driver, handle of Ninja (Tommy), who successfully sued a family for emotional distress after a horrible accident where, ironically, the family’s little girl was killed after the husband had lost control of their car on a slick road, crossed a highway divider and hit Ninja’s truck. It turns out that the trucker was raised to control his emotions, and be in charge and always be in control. In this situation that he could not control, after seeing the limp arm of the dead small child, Tommy labeled himself a killer and essentially withdrew, being unable to work or look anyone in the eye. Almost a year passed by until he received help and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. His emotions hijacked him.
Another example, also involving PTSD, centers on the main character, Chris Kyle, in the film American Sniper. The movie is based on the real Chris Kyle, a legendary sniper who served four tours in Iraq. Chris seems to be cut in the same mold as the Ninja, a guy who is in control. In his case while being clear on why he was in Iraq (to protect freedom and get the bad guy) he becomes conflicted having to shoot (armed) children and women, in order to protect U.S. troops. When asked later if he had any regrets, apparently his response was that he regretted most not being able to protect and save the lives of his fellow soldiers in certain combat situations. I bring up this example to point out that things get messy in a hurry.
The Invisibilia podcast has a link to an interview with Lisa Feldman Barrett, a psychologist and author, who has cultivated some new theories and insights regarding emotions. From one of my earlier blogs it is noted that the brain may be viewed as a tool that models reality and makes predictions of “you” (as the star character!) acting in the future. Barrett puts it this way — emotions aren’t happening to you; your brain makes them as you need them. She says, “Your brain is organized in such a way as to [make] anticipatory guesses about what is going to happen next… You are the architect of your own experience.” She points out that emotional response and personal feeling is maybe a lot more subjective than we are led to believe and based so much on context. If we are our own architects of our emotions than we may be able to change some aspects of how emotions will affect us in the future by cultivating certain qualities in the here and now – such as compassion, and generally being a kind-hearted, less self-centered and open person.
I will add that we also need to recall that we are a product of evolution, wired to survive (and really don’t know why the hell we are here, but hopefully enjoying the ride) and emotions can be viewed in the classical sense as a module of response to get us out of trouble quickly (rather than just thinking our way out of trouble). The last thing to note, going back to Barrett, is that she says that there is a distinction between Perception (e.g. we see an object) and perception leading to Emotion (e.g. we see an object and are overwhelmed with its beauty, or maybe horrified, etc). The two are linked and just two of the five kinds of “stuff” (form, feelings or emotions, perceptions, mental formations and consciousness) that our world is made of, according to Buddhist views on the five aggregates (from Thich Nhat Hanh, “The Heart of the Buddha’s Teachings”). Western psychology and science appears to be slowly dissecting the same stuff ancient masters have perceived and taught. We can change how we perceive the world!
Let’s be clear that there is a difference of purpose, or maybe intensity, between using non-drug methods to help ourselves achieve healthier and happier lives as opposed to a more radical and fundamental “diving into” the search for Nirvana or God, perhaps using some of the same methods. The difference is a personal choice as influenced by circumstance. The Ninja and Chris Kyle walked a thorny path.
Little Known Mystic 